Had a wild night last night (Friday October 26-07). After sorting out my daily affairs, managed to get Azmi and Hadi, my Citibank buddies to go out and hit town together. Started off in Mortons for the Martini and stake sandwiches (lovely USDA Prime Rib and fabulous bread), then it was off to the Long Bar at the Raffles Hotel. We've bcome quite close to the band that play there. It was also a chance to Azmi to have an SAF reunion with Eddie, the band's saxaphonist. Then we capped the evening off at the Lock, Stock and Barrell across the street. The band was fantastic - music was as always first-rate.
Anyway, the evening or by then, morning, was capped off with a visit to Bijay's work place.There was no Naan at 4am but we managed to get a tea out of him. I don't know what posessed me to push him on this but after two years, I managed to get him to admit to me that he had quick fling with Gina - or in this words "Go with her to hotel." As strange as it sounds, I'm glad he finally spat out the truth of what went on with my ex-wife. Funnily enough, I'm not at all angry - During the time he was pursuing her under my very own nose,I joked about being able to look at my father-in-law and telling him - "Can you take out what he put in" (when he found out about the abortion he asked me "Can you put back what you take out?)
A mutual friend was very upset with Bijay over his confession. The saying, "Bros before Hoe's" reflects one of the greatest social taboos I can think of between friends - You simply don't contemplate having sex with a friend's girlfriend (Gina at the time was technically still my wife and he and I are good friends).
Unfortunately for the Naan Maker, his brain and other moral senses are trapped in between his thighs. We're talking about a man who announces his size to perfect strangers. Gina, I think, must have known this. She actively used him to, in her words - "Make me jealous." She would flirt outrageously with him - so much so that she made the claim that "Had she known him before me, she would have married him instead." (Yeah, right - she had a problem explaining to her parents why she was with someone who was not Teochew when I was in the picture - I'd have liked to see her explain a Nepaleese or at least the difference between a Nepaleese and an Indian to the old man).
He was equally enamoured of her at first - "Brother, I find that woman EXCELLANT - Her face hungry for cock." - I think I must have given him my "tacit" approval - Now, as I sit back and remember facts - I did tell him that she was violent in our relationship. - I don't think he listened too much - even if he did try to assure me "I know you don't like it when I call Gina, brother - don't worry I LOVE my wife [he was married to a cash cow at the time]."
The signs that something had happened between them. She called me up a few months later offering me a number and asking me not to give it to my friends (which could only have meant him - the rest of my friends loathed her). She claimed to have helped him type out loads of doccuments for his brother's PR. Eventually, he managed to get the brunt of her abusive phone calls. When she finally decided she could never see me again (I had mistakenly sent her an MMS of a girl I had slept with), she did confess that the Naan Maker had tried to kiss her - in her words "Some people simply don't know how to take NO for an answer."
Ah well, things did work out for the best. God granted me the PPO and allowed her the honour of divorcing me. Dad had warned me to be careful - "Your girl can bite you back," he said (In one of our few father-son moments - he was getting out of his marriage around the same time Gina and I were getting ready to end things.) To be fair to Gina, she's dissapeared from my life and financial and health stresses aside, my life has been wonderfully good.
I'm not a schemer by nature, I despise under hand games and doing things like having to be unpredicatable. It's tough and I don't have the energy to play games. But when it came to Gina and her unpredictable volatility - I was forced into playing games. Towards the end, I braced myself for violent episodes so that I could collect the medical evidence that would be used against her. I got my paper work in order so that when we were called to court, getting the PPO became a formality.
She went to church and became a "Good Christian" in an effort to win me back. I went along with her to church to show that I was decent enough to try to reconcile. I think, had I known of the fling she had with the Naan Maker and a friend of his earlier on, I could have ended things much more ruthlessly. - I would have had her firmly secure in a legal (adultery) and cultural (She's from a family that takes pride in insularity - the idea of a relationship with a 'Nepalese/Indian' would be considered a slap in the face) bind.
I think, with the luxury of hindsight, I'm glad we never went down this course. I managed to get what I wanted -an end of the violence. She and her family got to save face. I'm not unhappy I learnt of this, I now have a way to ensure that the status quo of non-contact shall remain in force.
Was I using the Naan maker? Perhaps I was? Poor bugger acted on his nature and I sat there and watched as he charged head on into a rat's nest of her personality. I hope for his sake, she'll leave him alone too.