Monday, February 23, 2009

A Date in Haste

One of the things that I've never understood about some communities in Singapore is the association of virtue with virginity. To put it crudely, how can a woman in her mid-twenties be considered virtuous if she hasn't been poked? I also don't understand some men who think that they've hit drawn the ace of spades when the woman they marry is a virgin or at least claims to be one. Seriously, if you're any good in that department you won't need a girl to be a virgin. Not getting poked after 21 is a sign of mental insanity - not virtue ....I should know....

But this is Singapore and we have a very warped sense of what constitutes virtue when it comes to sex and relationships between the sexes. I'm with a German expat who once commented on how warped things are because,"Playboy is banned but Geylang thrives." To be fair to Geylang, Singapore's rate of criminally insane men would sky rocket. I mean, you have a society where you get a few allowances (Boys will be boys) but you can't get to know your perspective brides because you simply don't touch good girls that you want to marry. Say what you like about prostitution but in Singapore its a necessary social outlet for frustrated hormones.

Then again, how frustrated are Singaporeans? My favourite liquidator tells me that Singaporean girls are "Good in Bed," and a few barrow boys might be inclined to agree. However, how do our boys and girls discover each other if they never get out to meet each other. 

This was a phenomenon I discovered when I went "Speed Dating" as favour to a friend of mine. It was, from the perspective of a cultural anthropologist, a very interesting event. As my favourite litigator pointed out to me - "It proves why I need to have lunch with him every month." I stood out like a sore thumb. I was probably the only man not in the IT business or in engineering. I was, I am sure the only semi-employed person there. The girls, for the most part were accountants, engineers and one or two were teachers. 

I suspect I scared off allot of people. Instead of turning on my non-existent charm, most of my time was spent trying to facilitate conversations amongst the group. I suspect it must be a cultural thing but most of the people were shy and Chinese. Put a group of Indians in the room and you have the opposite problem - they can't stop talking. 

Conversations ie pick up lines went something like this:

Boy - Hi, work in a Stat Board.
Girl - I teach in a Junior College.

Irritating Busybody (Me) has to ask "Which Stat Board do you work for?" And "Which Junior College do you teach for?" So are we surprised why nobody decided to chose me as an ideal partner? 

Some of the girls were really cool - they confesed to liking beer - which is probably one of the biggest turn on for a guy - a girl who likes beer and football (she won't scream at you when your mates come home). But then again, this is Singapore - this alcoholic was the only one in the room and I think nobody wanted to get drunk with a guy who's idea of commitment is anything more than two dates with your cloths on. 

The favourite litigator suspected my lack of success was due to hanging around journalist who ask questions - the asking of questions, particularly those designed to get you to admit to silly things is probably not terribly sexy in some circles. Ah, well, I guess I get my kicks in wierd ways. 

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