Thursday, May 12, 2011

Who Would You Pick?

Now that the elections are over, it is going to be interesting to see if the newly elected Singapore government pretends to listen to the public and does something about "foreigners." We, the great Singapore public have spent the better part of the year complaining that foreigners (particularly "other" Asians) have coming over to steal our jobs, school places, husbands, wives and so on. For Singaporean Chinese and Indians in particular, it is perfectly acceptable to be robbed blind by Caucasians from Australia, the USA and Europe but totally unacceptable for other Asians to do the same.

This has been particularly true for the Chinese community in Singapore. For years we were told that we needed to remember to "Speak Mandarin" to take advantages of the opening China market and more importantly to remember we are Asian rather than pseudo-Westerners. We were told that China and being Chinese was great! Suddenly, the flood gates of migration opened and before long we had a load of people who spoke a different type of Mandarin from the one we spoke and they spoke it loudly. The men were rough and willing to do what men should do - work hard - much harder than what we could do under instruction from the government.

The women have been even more upsetting for the Singaporean Chinese woman. Not only do the girl from China have the capacity for hard work, they were also quick to realise that there was fortune to be made from dressing nicely, showing a bit of tit and smiling sweetly and before you knew it, Singaporean Chinese men were killing themselves to take the China girls to bed - even if it would only be for twenty minutes or so. To add insult to injury, the Caucasian men whom the Singaporean Chinese women found so willing to listen to their "educated opinions" (unlike the "spoilt Singapore Chinese men) were also rushing to learn Mandarin to get to know the China dolls better. Simply put - to the Westerner - a real Oriental for 20 minutes a pop was much better than an Oriental looking Westerner for a lifetime.

To sum it up - the China girl developed a reputation for being a "Whore," and the newspapers have been filled with horror stories of old men blowing their pensions on China girls. Hence, as the election got closer you found the boys at ICA looking more closely at social visit passes from girls from China, Vietnam, Thailand and so on and so on.

As one Singaporean Chinese girl who apparently is well connected to other stylish Singaporean women said, "That's because they go round 'whoring' themselves." When I heard that, I wanted to laugh.

The reason for this was simple. The lady in question has been in an sms negotiation with someone who wants to pay here a mere S$6,000 for a night of mad and passionate love making. When she first told me about this, the offer was a mere S$1,500 and her only remark was "Money not enough - leh"

So, like all good "Non-Prostitute" Singapore Chinese girls - she's asked for more and the guy in question has made good on the offer. As of writing, the negotiations are taking place between a banker with the obvious good taste of a Chelsea fan and a 44-year with pretensions of being a teenager.

This "young" lady in question has spent the better part of two-years claiming to be celibate. She has already confessed that she really likes me - her exact words over a cheap meal that only set me back a S$140 without alcohol were,"I really like you, you make me happy and I treasure your company - but you have NO MONEY." Hence despite all the good things I did for, I wasn't getting it. The only people who have gotten it from her in the last two years have been a short, fat and bald man who bought her bags and shoes costing over S$1,000 and a fat and pockmarked fellow who bought her a ticket to Shanghai and gave her $600 in cash over the course of three days.

The lady in question is not a prostitute, unlike those awful girls from China and Vietnam. Simply put, she does not sleep with anyone in particular, she only does it with people who offer her generous gifts. As she said to me in a moment of anguish - "The problem with you is that you don't want to use money to get girls to bed - you try and use charm" (My ex-wife would beg to differ on my charms).

I would like to say that this lady is an exception to the rule of decent Singapore Chinese girls with good values (unlike the girls from China and Vietnam). Just go to any party in Singapore and you'll find that the lady in question is only unusual in that she voices her opinions. The island is filled with young ladies who make it a point to go ONLY for Caucasian men ..... because they're willing to pick up the tab (Caucasian men as a rule don't negotiate price - who cares as long as you're on company expense). There is of course the ex-girl friend of mine who went insane when I weaned her picking up the tab for a drunken Caucasian Frat Boys. The media and promotions industry is particularly rife with intelligent Asian women who get most offended by the term Sarong Party Girl because it apparently demeans intelligent women who understand the value of an expense account or an expat package.

In the words of the average Singapore Chinese girl - Singaporean men go for China girls because "We can't live up to their standards." Which leads me to ask - What are the standards that Singapore Chinese women have? I guess its not about money. I mean you can't go round offering Singapore Graduate Chinese girls who think they can speak a $100 for a quick one?

However, if you ply her with drinks bought on an expense account, then outline your career moves and then tell her about your exotic travels to Europe (West of the Danube) and then promise to take her there and then drive her in your company car - she's yours and before you know it, your alarm clock will be replaced with wedding bells. That's not called paying for it - its just that she becomes a little less keen to be with you when you insist on moving back to wherever you came from and tell her that the company is no longer footing the bill and she has to do ....shock:shock - housework.

So, on one hand you have a girl who looks stunning and tells you clearly that she'll be yours for enough time to get your rocks off in return for a bit of money and on the other hand you have a well made up doll with questionable genetics who wants you to foot the bill as you listen to her yabber on about how well brought up she is and then expects you to make her yours for as long as you are on expense account. The question is - who would you pick?

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